Traversing the rigorous coarse to... who knows!

It's been over nine years since my last blog post.  I still cannot fathom the amount of time that has passed since I was the sarcastic overachieving 17-year-old writing her thoughts so effortlessly It feels like so much has changed in the past nine years, but also like nothing has at all.  This feels so much like a diary entry (much like all the other posts on here I've come to realize). I first started this blog because a teacher very dear to my heart recommended I do and naturally I soon lost interest. I've been struggling to keep a diary for years because I feel like it can really help with my mental health, but I just never stuck to it. Although I like to think that I am a person who values her privacy, there is something about the fact that people may read what I have to write that is a little exciting.  I am not sure to what extent I'll be able to share on here, or if I want people to know so much about me, yet I know I'll find myself checking the views every ...

I really appreciate those people who know what they want. It's very satisfying seeing a teenager who knows that he/she wants to end up a doctor or teacher etc.. But I don't have that luxury. I'm at crossroads. I know I love the sciences and math. But really, I've know that since 1st grade anyway -_-. So now I'm in 12th grade AND IT'S SCARY! I really do wish that I am not the only in such a position. And from what I've seen so far at my school, there are a lot of people who still don't know what they want either. So, I will put this blog to good cause. I will research all the different crazy domains out there and write the fruit of my research over here occasionally. Let me first state my very "unique" situation that usually makes any victim who thinks he/she can help me make my decision  really wanna slap me and walk away. Here's the deal. I love the sciences! But do I really wanna be a doctor? Spend all those years in Medi...

Psychology says that after going through turbulent circumstances, one usually gets this urge to go through some dramatic change. Some  change their hair style,  others their furniture. I decided to have my blog, the only thing I really have any authority over, go through a makeover! So ever since I got my blog, I have wanted to put this background- the one with the camera, but I just thought it would be too mainstream. So this was my blog's design instead Very serene and nice. I liked it a lot.  But it was time for a change. But I remember how I loved the idea of being under the spot in the camera one, how it changes you. We are different people when we are given attention- all of us. and it's just folly not to admit it. So reader, take a moment and think of your impression of the camera. How did it alter your pose? What was the first thing you thought of? I personally thought of how hideous my black pores must have looked.. XP

There was this girl. (There always is isn't there?  A girl, a boy, a man, woman.. there  is always someone who is suffering out there. And do we care? Do you? Do I? We don't! No one does. I might be just going though hormonal issues over here. But maybe I actually have something worthwhile to say. I don't know, and I always cared about "tweaking" my every post before publishing it, but I won't be giving this one another glance the moment I finish it. I don't care if someone out there reads it or not. I don't care if they can/ relate/ agree or whatever. I am angry. I tried to make this a cheery blog, but I 'm angry. Deal with it.  I hate those angry blogs- always called them nonsense and "too dramatic".  I guess I'm just full of crap myself now!!) There was this girl.  She was sad.  And no one cared. She wasn't a saint, not even close, but she sure as hell knew she didn't deserve what she got.  She ma...

Today, while I was checking my blog stats, I found out that I had 12 views from Russia in the last 2 days, 6 of which today. Now, I didn't usually have many views lately because.. well.. I stopped posting for a HALF A YEAR and all.. but still those few views I got in the last 2 days got me wondering.. Is this one person who viewed more than one of my posts? Or just a few Russians who happened to barge into my blog through Google coincidentally? I have always wondered about that whenever I get a 25 from Germany or a 20 from U.S in a day or something ever since I started my blog.. And I realized that I would rather my blog to be the least known among the World with a few loyal followers than post about all the popular "most commonly Googled stuff" (if a list like that even exists :P) and have a ton views of "passer-by's"- although by the way I appreciate every viewer, even the one who randomly bumped into my blog out of the blue and decided to leav...

Just when you are about to blow out the candles, you are usually asked to make that "birthday wish". As kids, we believe in them with pure innocence, putting all our might in that tiny little wish, dream we're longing for. As  we  grow older, we realize that the World is a lot more complicated than that. We realize that wishes  don't just get granted like that- that well, what we want most, what we fantasize about day and night, is sometimes the least likely event to happen. We learn that.. So we learn that we should work to make our wishes come true.  But then we work, we try and try, but sometimes our wishes are not as simple as getting a car or a new electronic device or a good grade or what's not. Sometimes, we dream big. Sometimes, we realize that our dreams are just our of our reach. So does that mean we should stop dreaming? Does that mean we should stop wishing and dreaming even though everything surrounding us is tangible proof that it ...

This time I decided I would share with you something I learned in my History class.  Mercantilism sounds like such a tough word, when all along it actually describes a very basic economic aspect. Basically, it is an economic idea which asserts that government control over foreign trade is necessary for the prosperity and security of the nation. Which means that the country basically makes sure that it exports more than it imports to make sure that it gets as much income as possible. One of the most popular examples of mercantilism would be Great Britain, which used its colonies to the full, allowing all their goods to be exported through itself and only itself. Of course, some goods were even on the "black list" of exports, like gold, for example, which Britain only imported.  This is a really nice video that explains it all... not as good as Mrs. Zunaira of course, but close enough :P So then, basically, it was a country's main way of gaining supreme p...

Today, I cried.... Once, while I was talking to a friend about getting a Twitter account I remember she said " Twitter is like so stupid! You basically have to tweet all you do.. like you fart, you tweet 'I farted' " Now, although I told her how wrong she was, I couldn't help myself from laughing! I mean, yeah that's what most people now do, just use the social networks in shallower and shallower ways, that those networks lose the meaning they once held "to connect people". And the first sentence in my post probably gave you the same impression. XD But for a feelingless (which by the way, I know isn't a word that exists in the dictionary, yet I believe describes me perfectly that I decided to use it. It just sounds right; I mean "unfeeling", the "right"word just sounds wrong to me! Feelingless has more emotion, you know.. so the next time they ask you where you got a word you feel comfortable using from, you tell them ...

So today is a very special day! I realized yesterday, while talking to a friend, that two months would have passed since I started my blog by today! My first post was on 10/21/12! Yeah, and there is this small fact that it's 21/12/12 and all.. XP We're not dead are we?! If you don't know what 21/12 is... then you live under a rock, sorry won't explain it.. ;P But if you were one of the millions out there who a couple of years ago got shocked with the fact that you may "scientifically" die so soon, then welcome aboard! I was in 8th grade when I first found out. So, being the obsessed environmentalist I was then (well, I still believe in "Healing the World" like Micheal Jackson put it, but now I am hated for being obsessed with politics.. I mean think of it.. It all has to do with politics doesn't it?!) I took it seriously, because it does make sense if you give it a good thought.. scientifically speaking again. The hilarious part wa...

Woow.. My last post was on 16 November! A whole month without blogging! No wonder I've been weird lately.. =D.. It's not that I haven't been writing.. Just that I found out "blogging" a different experience.. How it is in some sense more an act of "venting" than anything else... ANYHOW! I haven't been busy with SAT's and school only, people! Along with some other stuff in the Student Council, I've been on this fundraising project, (guess I inspired myself.. lol). And it has been just GREAT! Ok, ok.. we're still on it. We actually started the campaign last year as part of the Student Council, but this year, it's only us.. Just a group of volunteers on their own, and it's a whole different experience! That mean more responsibility, but I'm loving every single part of it! What motivated us the most to relaunch the campaign was how much we enjoyed it last year, and how much help we got from everyone. I was especially awed...

Let's start off with newsflash: Vampire Diaries launched a killer fourth season ,   Obama won the elections ,     Harvard increased it's tuition (again!) ,   Israel bombed Gaza ,   and  the last El Classique ended in a 2-2 tie. What were your reactions? Let me guess: Tell me something I don't know, Yeah, go Obama (or not..), Why are they so damn expensive?!, Aha....., Bummer..Can't Barca get good defense and stop counting on Messi only?! Right? Right?! At least I'm close, right?! Oooohkay... So I know I said that I'll talk about some chit-chatty topic this time, but (there's always a "but" isn't there?!) how can I possibly talk about the weather when there are people dying each day because of our unfeeling recklessness? I know this would sound a little too dramatic, but think of it... So today I wake really early and start off a very normal weekend day in which I: Half-heartily do the requested chores Pretend to have some brea...

Oookay.. so this entire "blogging S.A.T essays" didn't work out. (I can almost sense the relieved faces), because I already finished the exam before yesterday. But either ways, you really don't want me to start rambling about how depressing that was (S.A.T is a nuisance! Ok ok I'll stop now..), so let's start off where we left off.  Let's see.. ah rebellion, that unforgivable sin.. that crime your parents scold you all the time for committing, or that your colleagues at work would never back you up in, or students at school.. etc.. So to rebel, you must have some pretty good reason right? And when you do have that reason, what next? The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.- Albert Camus  Indeed, the biggest threat to an oppressive government is the free mind, free of all prejudices, of all  that nonsense they try fill your mind ...

Now there are seriously A LOT of stuff to write about this topic, but not to waste the poor reader's time, and, well, maintain his or her sanity, I'll try and be as concise as possible. So who's fault is it that the global economy has been declining like crazy in the past decade? Who is it that we should blame for Global Warming or "the lack of ethics" which is now an optimistic expression describing a waaaay worse situation! Who is it who's responsible for all the corruption?! Well, let me tell you the manner you are asking these questions in your mind right now defines which side you're on. Are you trying to find an excuse for every fault you do? Or genuinely trying to solve a problem? You see, to approach such a question as "who's fault it is" you have to look to a ton aspects in society. The actions one person, two, a hundred compared to billions on Earth might be negligible. But one influential person: No. That's why it's alwa...

Bah! Oh God this is exhausting! I mean seriously! Concentration is like the one thing I can't  get myself to do! And of coarse based on that, I find myself missing out on all this stuff! I mean this is the reason I started this blog anyway: to get some rest from all the buzzing thoughts in my head! So let's get down to business. With the zillion questions facing us in life, we are bound to make A LOT of choices everyday. I mean think of all the questions you get asked for a feakin' cup of coffee! So here's what I'll do. Each day I'll pose one of those "Universal" questions, try and come up with something wise to say, and then leave the judgement to you. And if you didn't buy any of what I just said, Yes I do have my SAT's in less than two weeks, and the essay is freakin' the hell outa me! But all the same, being the optimist I am (or trying to be... nothing works better than inverse psychology... or so I was told XP) I believe that t...

Our lives are nothing but routes to our goals. And it is up to us to choose the right path to what we define as success. This reminds me of one of Robert Frosts' less popular poems but one of my favorites all the same: "The Road Not Taken".   Here it is to remind you all, or introduce it to those who don’t know it (shame on you XP):     Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,  And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim Because it was grassy and wanted wear, Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trod...